Don't you dare fail.
About 5 months ago I wrote a piece on failure. I did not like it and did not publish it. The irony is I can never get myself to writing with ease unless I am submerged under the subject just enough for words to flow swiftly from me.
I guess I had learning to do.
When publicizing a film by Todd Haynes, starring Cate Blanchett, Cate was interviewed by Zane Lowe for Apple Music.
“I’ve got four kids and know their generation is profoundly terrified of failure. It’s so public. They feel their failure is bigger than what they’re going to learn from it. That’s where Todd and I connected: that neither of us were frightened of that feeling.”
I, belonging to Cate Blanchett’s children’s generation, agree.
For the longest time, I’ve seen failure as greater than whatever you learn from it. Greater than anything you do after it. I’ve seen failure as a sign of inability and lack. It is a clear representation of everything you’re not.
If that weren’t enough, cancel culture is nothing new. For years, it has grown thorned branches in our society. Slowly, it rewires our brains into a mindset of critique and hyper vigilance for faults. It becomes a sport with no winner…unless you don’t play.
As far as I’m concerned, time travel is not a thing but if you listen to the elderly, you can have a glimpse into the future. Many will bitterly advice you to avoid certain people, places, or things. Others will joyfully remind you to visit certain people, places, or things. With much intention and patience, I’ve listened, and this might be the closest you get to me bringing a message from the future: failure is only failure if you give up.
Having screwed up is no sign of inability or lack. If anything, it has proven you can overcome! Life bears the beautiful gift of opportunity. The opportunity of starting again, of making anew. Latin has 2 letters for it: re, meaning ‘back to the original place’. Restarting, renewing, redeeming.
Opportunity's gates are wide open. Only those who travel boldly make it through. Beyond those gates, in spite of the pain of past failures, time will not ask for your consent to march on. Time does not stop for you to gather your thoughts. The only way out is through. As the Japanese saying goes: wabi-sabi. You can let go or be dragged.
The great tragedy is not erring, but a life full of the same err. Not to have fallen, but to never have gotten back up. Not to lose, but to not try again. The Great Failure is to stop living while there is still a life to be lived.
Don’t you dare fail. There’s new mercies. Every. Single. Morning.